Some News for the New Year in Mexico

Taking out the garbage this morning—January 2, 2017—was a clear reminder that it’s the first Monday of the new year in Mexico. The party’s over; my neighbors and I slowly dragged our plastic garbage cans to the idling garbage truck, which overflowed with crumpled wrapping paper, broken piñatas, fireworks shells, pizza boxes, and bags of empty liquor and champagne bottles. Now they’re all gone, taken away like so many hopes, dreams, mistakes and memories.

Yes, 2017 is finally here, and life goes on. As always here in Mexico, it’s a life full of surprises and interesting news stories. I thought I’d share three with you.

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Gasolinazo

The big news for the start of the new year is the country-wide rise in gasoline prices. No one with Mexican friends on Facebook could miss the calls to protest, even revolution. The increase went into effect today, so not all the results and reactions have yet come to light, but here’s what we know.

The oil industry was nationalized in Mexico back in 1938. So there’s only one company that extracts oil, Pemex, and only one type of gas station in the country, also called Pemex.

A major issue for the past few years has been the proposal to privatize Pemex, which would bring modernization to the inefficient government monopoly and allow competing companies into the country. This privatization issue, like all privatization issues, is quite complex and ideological, so rather than go into its pros and cons I’ll summarize the government’s latest move: a hike in gasoline prices.

As of today, the price of gasoline will go up between 20 and 24 percent across Mexico. The prices won’t be uniform nationwide, but different in different states. And more increases are planned for the coming months.

For example, the prices in parts of Mexico City are now 16.33 pesos for regular gas (called Magna) and 18.2 for premium. In U.S. dollars, this would be 79 cents a liter (or about $3 USD a gallon) for regular, and 88 cents a liter (or about $3.33 USD a gallon) for premium.

Besides the added expense for commuters and all the people who drive for a living, these prices are especially frustrating to Mexicans because Mexico is an oil producing country, in which gas prices are usually low, often ridiculously low.

But another major reason for these high prices compared to U.S. prices is the fact that the peso has lost a lot of value against the U.S. dollar in the past two years. When I moved here in 2010, it was about 12 pesos to one U.S. dollar, and that price held steady until May of 2013 when it gradually began to change. Then in 2014 it started a rapid loss of value, finally breaking the 20 peso mark in the middle of 2016, and shooting up even higher the day after Trump was elected. Today it’s at 20.60 pesos for one U.S. dollar, which means big consequences for Mexico, much more than on gas prices. (Of course, this is great for U.S. tourists traveling here—instant discounts on everything.)

But back to today’s gas hike. In response, starting yesterday and continuing today, people all over the country have been blocking highways and gas stations (even threatening to set them on fire) to protest this. There is a large march going on in Mexico City (among other places), and the highways between major cities Querétaro and Mexico City, Toluca and Mexico City, and more have been blocked since yesterday or this morning. There will certainly be more actions like these, hopefully with minimal violence.

The entire issue has been called Gasolinazo, which translates to “big gasoline”—obviously in reference to the increase. We’ll see how this story develops and if it will be covered on international news outlets. There have been reports on Facebook and Twitter of gas stations set on fire, but as of now not on any major news sources.

Fireworks Market Explosion

Here’s a story that did make international news: On December 20, a fireworks market exploded in Tultepec, in the State of Mexico north of Mexico City. Watch the incredible video here.

Current reports state that 36 people have died and at least 86 were injured. It’s not known how it started, but probably either someone testing out some fireworks or walking around with a cigarette.

Besides the tragic deaths and injuries, the other incredible part of this story is that the market had already blown up in 2005 and 2006. Unspecified safety measures were put in place since then, but not enough to prevent this tragedy.

Loud fireworks are popular in Mexico for holidays, especially religious holidays like the birthdays of saints. Every town or big-city neighborhood has a patron saint, and on that saint’s birthday people set off fireworks on the street or from the local church, starting early in the morning and sometimes lasting all day and night. An interesting contrast: In the U.S. in Canada it’s usually the drunks setting off fireworks, but in Mexico it’s the devout (or of course the drunk and devout).

As for holidays, yes there are fireworks on New Year’s Eve, but more often it’s the locals  launching them, rather than an organized city-wide display. But, in general, people are much more enthusiastic for fireworks on religious holidays, such as the beloved Virgin de Guadalupe’s birthday on December 12.

Anyway, the parties are fun, but please remind me to never visit a fireworks market in Mexico.

Rubi’s Fifteenth Birthday

And finally, in lighter but still-bizarre news, Rubi finally had her big fifteenth birthday party on December 27. Let me explain.

In Mexico (and many other countries), a girl’s 15th birthday is occasion for a humongous party. She gets dressed up and dances the night away with all her friends and relatives.

(Contrary to popular belief, the girl is the Quinciañera, not the party, which is simply called a quince años.)

Well, when the father of Rubi Ibarra, an otherwise normal girl from the state of San Luis Potosi, announced on YouTube that “everyone was invited” to the party, 1.3 million people accepted the invitation, for sure making it a little more humungous than he’d planned.

It was a big story and the source of a lot of jokes, with speculation about which celebrities would show up and how the father would pay for it all. In sum, it was the definition of something accidentally and unexpectedly going viral.

She finally had her party, and you can see some photos here. Millions didn’t attend, but thousands did, and despite one unfortunate death during a horse race, it seems like it was a hell of a good time.

Thanks for reading, and a prospero año y felicidad to all.

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Jambands in the Yucatan, 2017: Ideas and Advice

The word got out: The Mayan Riviera is an awesome place for multi-night concerts at all-inclusive resorts. Widespread Panic has played the Hard Rock Resort five times already; Phish is coming back for a second time, perhaps starting a tradition; and early next year you can add two members of the Grateful Dead to the list of jamband luminaries throwing a party on the warm beaches of the Mexican Caribbean coast.

Tulum ruins

These three- or four-day events, played by bands that don’t repeat songs from night to night (just in case you aren’t familiar with jambands), sell out pretty quickly, and they aren’t cheap, that’s for sure. Other bands may or may not be on the bill; My Morning Jacket’s One Big Holiday has Gary Clark Jr., among others, while Phish is the only band performing at their second Mayan Riviera fiesta, which is the norm for Phish festivals.

If you’re coming, then a clearly-marked shuttle bus will pick you up at the Cancun airport and take you straight to your hotel. Hard Rock, Barceló, and the rest are enormous vacation villages with pristine beachfronts, big swimming pools, and all-you-can-eat-and-drink restaurants and bars. You could never leave the resort and still have a great time.

If you do want to leave, however, these resorts are surrounded by the beautiful natural areas and wild party towns of the Mayan Riviera. Most resorts (Hard Rock, Barceló) are between Playa del Carmen to the north and the seaside Mayan ruins of Tulum to the south.

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Getting Around the Mayan Riviera

Your resort should have a shuttle to take you where you want to go (maybe free, probably not). If you don’t mind paying a little more money, you could ask the front desk to call a taxi, although public transportation is cheap and easy to use.

Simply walk out the front gates to the highway, make sure you’re on the correct side of the road, and wave down any passing bus or white passenger van (called colectivos). Not all will stop, but when one does, tell the driver your destination and watch for signs so you’ll know when to get off. Colectivos are cheap: most trips will be around 30 or 40 pesos, which with a favorable exchange rate is between one and two U.S. dollars.

Don’t take a tour to Tulum. Go on your own. Leave early and hop on a colectivo. That way you can avoid the crowds and take your time swimming under the ruins at one of the most beautiful beaches in the world, certainly in Mexico, which often appears on “Top X Beaches” lists.

The colectivos going south first pass the Tulum ruins and then enter Tulum town down the road. The town has some good restaurants and a pleasant atmosphere, but not much else, and it’s far from the beach. To get to big, beautiful Tulum beach (not the little one under the ruins), walk 15 or 20 minutes through the jungle from the Tulum ruins.

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Colectivos going north will take you to Playa del Carmen. (From there it’s an easy transfer for Cancun.) In Playa, the area where the colectivos stop is two blocks from Quinta Ave (5th Ave.), the main pedestrian street full of bars and restaurants that follows the beach. Come here after the shows to party ’til sunrise.

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Downtown Cancun isn’t too exciting, but it has some interesting markets and nice parks. To go to the beach in Cancun, take a local bus to the Hotel Zone (Zona Hotelera), which is a long, thin island of white-sand beach and big resorts.

Another nice day trip from Cancun is to Isla Mujeres, where laid-back beaches with views of the mainland await. Ferries leave from two terminals in Puerto Juárez just north of downtown Cancun (take a taxi), or there’s a more expensive ferry from the Hotel Zone.

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Shorter colectivo rides from the resorts can take you to less developed beaches (Xpu-Ha is the closest and just south of the Barcelo) and cenotes, the underground caves and sinkholes with fresh, clear water for swimming or scuba diving.

If you’re staying at the Barcelo, there are four cenote parks right across the street, including Cenote Cristiliano and Cenote Azul, the two closest ones. Just walk out the front gates and cross the street. They are much cheaper (100 to 200 pesos) than the big adventure parks advertised everywhere with funny names like Xel-Ha and Xcaret.

(By the way, the x in words like Xpu-ha and Xel-ha is pronounced like sh.)

These huge adventure parks have ziplines, beaches, and cenotes, along with big buffets and shows. The resorts will offer to sell you a ticket and take you there, but be sure to compare with the prices on their websites and then take a colectivo. They’re cool places, but I think you’d have more fun and a more authentic experience at one of the lower-key cenotes nearby. I mean, you already have a buffet, right?

Shameless plug: I wrote a guide to the region that describes all of these places in detail. Click on the book above or the link for more information. But if you just have a quick question, I’ll be happy to answer it in the comments.

Sneaking In?

Well, sorry to burst your bubble of enthusiasm, but my first piece of advice is don’t do it, especially if you don’t speak Spanish. Although Mexican law states that all beaches are public land and therefore must be accessible to everyone, these resorts don’t seem to respect the rules, as their beaches are isolated and surrounded by jungle and rocky terrain. Yes, there’s crocs in them streams (not their Floridian second cousin the alligator), and the resorts are heavily fortified compounds with tight security.

If you’re determined to sneak in, however, I have another piece of advice for you: Offer no resistance to the security officers if you get caught. Don’t try to run past them and don’t bother attempting to talk your way out of it. Unless you’re prepared to offer a bribe (which they may take and still not let you in), do what they say and leave immediately.

In Mexico, especially as a tourist, you have zero rights. Although the security officers probably won’t rob you or beat you up—this part of Mexico has too many foreign visitors for that—they could easily have you arrested and thrown in jail. In fact, I heard that a few people went to jail for trying to sneak into Phish last year.

Again, despite beaches being public land, in practice you can’t really argue the finer points of Mexican law with six angry security guards tapping the guns and handcuffs on their belts.

Just save your money and go another time. It’s not like Phish, Widespread Panic and the rest don’t play your hometown or darn close to it at least once a year anyway. (Unlike poor me living in B.F.E. Mexico—but I did make it to Dick’s last year.)

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Some Thoughts on Price

This brings me to a common complaint about these shows: too expensive. For sure it would be awesome if Phish played a big festival in Mexico with regularly-priced tickets, like Vive Latino in Mexico City or Cumbre Tajin in Veracruz. Though Phish has few fans in Mexico, if they played a festival like one of those, they would instantly create tens of thousands.

But these festivals are in the middle of the country. I imagine that Phish and the other bands want to play shows in Mexico because they want to play next to the ocean, with palm trees swaying and the breeze breezing. Trey wouldn’t have written “Breath and Burning” otherwise.

Sure, these resorts are expensive—and they’re expensive even without a hugely popular foreign band playing there. And think about it, when Phish comes to play, it’s not just the dudes in the band and a few guitars, but planeloads of gear. I mean, last year they had so many lights, including big ones over the ocean, that they had to bring in a second lightman, the guy from Umphrey’s Mcgee.

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So of course these resort shows aren’t cheap. What do you expect? That the bands would find some empty beach nearby and set up everything themselves, and their huge fanbase (most of whom don’t speak Spanish) would find their own hotels and transportation to the shows? Sure, it’s possible, by why go through the headache, especially when plenty of fans don’t mind paying and look forward to eating whatever they want and drinking top-shelf tequila all morning, day, and night long.

Whatever the price, the shows are happening and will keep on happening. I won’t be going to any this year (too expensive for my Mexican university teacher’s salary, especially with the terrible exchange rates for the peso), but those who do, you’ll for sure have a great time.

Here’s the list for 2017:

January 13-15

Phish: http://www.phishrivieramaya.com

January 25-28

Los Muertos con Queso (Bob Weir and Bill Kreutzmann from the Grateful Dead, String Cheese Incident, more): http://losmuertosconqueso.com

February 4-8

My Morning Jacket: http://mmjonebigholiday.com

February 23-25

Dave Mathews and Tim Reynolds: http://daveandtimrivieramaya.com/the-event

February 27-March 3

Widespread Panic: http://panicenlaplaya.com

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Final Tip

One last piece of advice. If you can, spend a few more days in Playa del Carmen before or after the shows. You’ve already paid for the plane ticket, hotels and restaurants are cheap, the place is awesome, and there’s a even a huge electronic music festival—the BPM Festival—in the clubs and beaches from January 6-15. Even if you don’t like EDM, the scene is wild.

In Playa you can find decent hotels a block or two from the beach for as low as $20 or $30 USD a night. The Mexican peso is low and getting lower against the U.S. dollar, meaning automatic discounts on everything. You can chill in Playa and have an excellent base for visiting all the places you didn’t visit because you were too busy getting shwilly in the Barcelo pool, like the ancient Mayan city of Chichen Itza.

(Chichen Itza is too far for a day trip anyway, at least without a rental car and a really early start. Don’t take a tour to Chichen Itza—go by yourself when you can. On the tours you spend more time on the bus than at the ruins, and you get herded around like kindergarteners on a field trip. The best way to see it is to stay in the colonial town Valladolid the night before.)

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You can find lots of suggestions in my guidebook to the area, and you’ll save its low price the first time you follow my advice for a hotel, restaurant, bus or colectivo:

Mexican Slang Master List

100+ words and phrases for speaking and understanding real Mexican Spanish

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It’s been more than five years since I published Top Ten Mexican Slang and its sequel Top 20 Mexican Slang. I’d never change the words on those lists, but 10 words, 20 words, heck, 100 words isn’t enough to cover the enormous amount of slang in Mexico. There are even entire books devoted to Mexican Slang — modismos mexicanos (click the photo for more info):

So here’s my Master List of the most common, useful, and hilarious words and phrases in Mexican Spanish, which goes for beyond the top 10 or 20 (or the other articles online with the same words as my first two lists and obvious rewrites of my descriptions). I sincerely hope that when you hear these words, you’ll remember my examples and laugh.

Everyday Expressions

¿Que Onda?

Along with ¿Qué pasó? and ¿Qué tal?, this is yet another way to say What’s up? A more informal version is ¿Que tranza?, or the vulgar ¿Que pedo?

Ondas are waves, but not waves in the ocean (which are olas), but sound or light waves. So perhaps a better translation for onda would be vibes.

Someone who is buena onda is cool or nice, while someone mala onda is not. Also, agarrar la onda means you understand, or get it.

Ella es buena onda — She’s cool.

¿Aggaraste la onda?Do you get my drift?

¡Que milagro!

Literally What a miracle!, this is how Mexicans say Long time no see.

¿Mande?

Mande is the Mexican way to ask What? when you don’t understand what someone said. It can also be used like Tell me or Go ahead, to encourage someone to speak, often on the telephone. Another way to say this, which is like Huh? (not exactly a real word), is pronounced ei-oh.

¿Neta?

A highly informal Really? or For real?, neta can also mean that something is the best, as in esta fiesta es la neta — this party is the best.

Another common Mexican substitute for Really? (verdad, en serio) is ¿apoco?

¡No manches!

Instead of a question like ¿apoco?, another reaction to surprising information is to say ¡No manches!No way! or Come on! The literal translation, Don’t stain, is ridiculous because it’s simply a euphemism for the vulgar no mames. Head down the list to Bad Words for other vulgar expressions in Mexican slang.

Ni modo

Literally no method, the common expression ni modo means it doesn’t matter, it can’t be helped, or a dismissive whatever.

¡Órale!

can be used for encouragement, like Go for it! or Right on! It can be used to agree: Let’s do it! or Let’s go! Or it can express excitement, like Wow! or My goodness!, similar to its second cousin híjole.

Ahorita

Ahora means now. The -ita or -ito (for feminine or masculine nouns) stem is a diminutive, used to show that something is small or cute. So literally ahorita means little now.

Mexicans might tell you that ahorita means right now, but really it means soon or eventually. If you ask a Mexican to do something and he or she replies with ahorita, then it could happen in five minutes, five hours, or never.

¿Puedes ayudarme con mi tarea? Ahorita. — Can you help me with my homework? Soon.

¿Ya nos vamos? Ahorita.Let’s go now? Soon.

Luego luego

While luego means later, luego luego, unlike ahorita, actually does mean right now.

¡Aguas!

We all know that agua is water. But in slang aguas means careful! or look out!

Aguas con los perros. — Careful with those dogs.

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I was told that this expression comes from when a cleaning lady pours out a bucket of water onto the sidewalk, she warns passersby by yelling ¡Aguas!

Pinche

Not quite vulgar, pinche translates to many words in English, damn for example, but only when used to describe something or someone.

¡Pinche coche! – damn car

Pinche Juan – goddamn Juan (Also a song by Café Tacuba, good Mexican band for learning Mexican slang.)

Chido

Chido means cool, usually objects and situations instead of people, for whom it’s more common to say buena onda. Another word for cool is padre (see Family below).

Cámara

No, not the Nikkon hanging around your neck, although it’s also the word for a camera and the tube inside a tire too. A general translation is chamber. But as an expression, cámara means I agree or it’s a deal. A stronger way to say this is with conste.

No Hay Bronca

This one has a special place in my heart — I named my blog after it. It means no problem and is an alternative to the vulgar No hay pedo. (Look for pedo under Drinking below.)

Words for People

Wey

Wey was #1 on my list of Top Ten Mexican Slang, and I still stand by it. The “correct” spelling (of this “incorrect” word) is güey, which is derived from the word buey for an ox.

Ask middle-aged Mexicans, and they’ll tell you that wey didn’t exist when they were kids — at least, not like it does now. Once in the proper circles you’ll hear wey between every other word, like how teenage American girls use like.

¡Simón wey, mira wey, chupamos veinte caguamas wey, no mames wey, estábamos bien pedos wey!

Wey (or güey) means dude, and if you haven’t already heard something like the example above, I hope that when you do you’ll recall this example and laugh. (Simón is a slang substitute for , yes.)

When used angrily, however, wey means something like dumbass or idiot.

In the north of Mexico, people say vato, which is borderline vulgar. Cabrón, clearly on the vulgar side, can also be used in a friendly way with the right people. Carnal is used for a very close friend, often someone’s brother. And speaking of brothers, cuate (fraternal twin) is also used for a close friend.

Chavo/chava

In English we say kids, and in Mexico there are many slang words for muchachos. Chavo is perhaps the most common, but others are chamaco and morro. (Remember, end words like this with an -a instead of an -o for females, i.e. chava, chamaca, morra.)

Of course, like chick in English, these can be used for teenagers and up, as always depending on the situation. I have a friend my age who calls his girlfriend his morra.

Peques — short for pequeños — is used for little kids only. An escuincle is a spoiled brat, but it could apply to kids in general.

Ruco

A ruco is an old person, and the word can be used as a noun or an adjective. A chavoruco, therefore, is an old guy who acts (or tries to act) young.

A related word, rabo verde (literally green tail — green in the sense of not ripe), is an old guy who dates young women, or chases young tail.

Naco

Nacos are low-class folks, not necessarily because of their economic situation, but more because of attitude and behavior. The American English equivalent would be redneck (more so than hick), and although nacos and rednecks actually have a lot in common, they would probably hate each other.

Fresa

Literally strawberry, a fresa is a picky, stuck-up person. For a woman it could translate as high maintenance. This can apply to things other than people as well; for example cheesy, lightweight rock is musica fresona, although the usual word for cheesy is cursi.

Another way to say picky, especially for food, is especialspecial.

Chicano

These are Mexicans living in the United States, or Mexican-Americans. The illegal ones are mojados, which means wet, a reference to the unfortunate expression wetback.

Malinchista

A Mexican who doesn’t want to be Mexican, but loves to talk about his trip to the U.S. or Europe, is a malinchista. This comes from Malinche, Hernan Cortés’ indigenous translator (and lover) during the conquest of Mexico, widely regarded as a traitor. So a malinchista is someone who symbolically betrays Mexico.

Chilango

These are people from Mexico City, which incidentally is called D.F. (pronounced “deh-EFF-ei” in Spanish). There’s some debate about whether chilangos are people born there or who moved there later, but for our purpose it’s any of the 9 million residents of this massive metropolis.

Cholo

Cholos are Mexican hip-hop kids — big pants, big chains, and a whole other world of slang. I’m sure Mexican rappers Cartel de Santa would proudly call themselves cholos.

Chairo

Chairos are the left-leaning, save-the-world types who believe in a socialist utopia. I suppose a loose translation to English could be social justice warrior. Yes, it’s an insult to call someone a chairo.

Derechairo

The corresponding insult for people on the right is derechairo. Dere-, as in derecha, get it? Another word is mocho, especially for the overly religious.

¡Pinche mochos y chairos se odian!

Cafre

Cafres are terrible drivers, who often drive a carcacha, a beat-up car. Another word is cacharro, but this may apply to anything busted, not only cars.

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Ñoño

Ñoños are nerds, and as an adjective it means nerdy. Apparently in Spain ñoño means cheesy, though in Mexico cheesy is cursi.

Metiche

A busybody — someone who pokes their nose into everyone’s business — is a metiche. If the person is a gossip, then he or she is chismoso, as chisme is gossip (the noun).

Mandilón

This is a guy whose wife or girlfriend is always bossing him around. It’s not vulgar, even if the English equivalent certainly is: pussy-whipped.

Tocayo

Not an exclusively Mexican word, but interesting because there’s no equivalent in English, a tocayo is someone with the same name as you. You can say somos tocayos or just call the person with the same name as you tocayo, like a nickname (apodo).

Words for Describing People

Unlike folks north of the border, Mexicans can be quite direct when describing people, with words and nicknames like gordito (fat), flaco (thin), and moreno (dark skinned). Though to describe a dark-skinned woman, for example, it is nicer to add the diminutive -ita, as in morenita.

Güera

If you’re a light-skinned woman with blonde or even light brown hair, you’ll for sure be called a güera in Mexico, which means — surprise — a light-skinned woman with blonde or light hair. For men the word is güero, and in both cases there are two little dots above the u.

Codo

Codo means elbow, but in Mexican slang it means stingy, as in a cheap or stingy person. People who are codo doesn’t want to flex their elbows by pulling out money and putting it on the table. The non-slang word for this is tacaño.

No seas codo  – Don’t be cheap.

More expressions use codo, like hablar por los codos, which means talk too much, or romperse los codos, which means work too hard.

Buena

Women with a nice body are buena (hot), bien buena, or the even-more emphatic buenota.

Estas bien buena güera.You are hot (have a nice body), white lady.

Be careful with these, as obviously they can be taken the wrong way. For example, not many women would enjoy being called a gordibuena — a hot fat chick.

Another way to say a person is hot is chula, which can also mean good in a general sense.

Cochino

A pig, in the general, metaphorical sense of the word — dirty, disgusting or rude, whatever applies. It can also be used like an adjective: Tu casa está cochinayour house is dirty. To say it in a nicer way, use cochinito.

Pelón, etc.

A common nickname, used as a noun, this refers to a bald guy, especially those who shave their head. Pelo is hair, so pelón means…well there’s some irony at work here.

This brings us to another topic: the -ón  and -ona suffixes, which you can add to all kinds of adjectives, such as:

Nalgas: butt — nalgona: girl with a big butt. (And slapping someone on the butt is a nalgada)

So, you can add -ón or -ona to any body part to describe someone who has a prominent one. For example:

Nariz: nose — narizón: guy with a big nose

Cejas: eyebrows — cejón: guy with bushy eyebrows

Frente: forehead — frentona: girl with a big forehead

Bigote: mustache — bigotona: girl with a mustache

Culo: ass (vulgar) — culona: girl with a big ass, possibly complimentary (but still vulgar)

Cebolla: onion — cebollón: what my wife calls me when I eat too many onions

You also can do this with jobs: -ero or -era makes a job title.

Obra: work project — obrero: worker

Palomita: popcorn — palomero: popcorn seller, who walks the streets with his cart.

Culo: ass — culero: literally ass seller, but actually more like asshole.

Jeta

A special mention for jeta, which doesn’t have a direct English translation. (These are often the most interesting words.) A jeta is a dirty look, a sour expression on your face. Maybe you’ve heard this newly-minted English expression: resting bitch-face. That’s a jeta. So a woman with a jeta is a jetona.

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Words for Family Members

Jefe/Jefa

Your father is your boss: mi jefe, and your mother too: mi jefa.

Vieja

Your wife or girlfriend is your old lady: mi vieja. Sure, it’s not respectful, but it is common. Old ladies, on the other hand, are usually called viejitas, with the diminutive softening the blow.

Esta viejathis old lady, could refer to any female, usually with a negative connotation. And viejo, old man, can be used among friends like man (if you get sick of using wey, cabrón or carnal, that is).

Mijo

Mothers talking about their sons use this combination of the two words mi hijo — my son.

Padre

Padre (father) means cool or good, not for people but things or situations. Está padre — it’s cool, great. Está padrísimo — it’s awesome.

In Mexican Slang, madre (mother) is much more common than padre, although unlike padre, it’s full-on vulgar. Which brings us to…

Bad Words

Bad language, groserias in Spanish, make up some of the most diverse, prevalent and versatile types of slang in any language. Whole books and websites are devoted to bad language in Spanish — English too. It can make for a lifetime of study, and if you want to get into it, a great website to check out is run by my friend Rodney: “¡Qué boquita!” No seas pelangoche.

In the interest of your Mexican slang education, I’ve included five of the most versatile bad words, which can be twisted into many meanings. They are, in their basest form: madre, mamar, huevos, cabrón, and chingar — of course with a few bonus ones mixed in.

Madre

As I wrote above, in Mexican Slang padre isn’t a bad word, but madre certainly is. Why? Well, as an anonymous commenter wrote on my article Top Ten Mexican Slang, mention mom and the fight is on.

Here are some ways to use madre:

Que pedo con esta madre — What the fuck is wrong with this fucking thing — you can use madre to refer to pretty much anything.

Me vale madres — I don’t give a fuck.

Ni madres — No fucking way.

A toda madre: This means awesome, or when about yourself it means you’re feeling great, ready for action, as in Estoy a toda madre.

Que poca madre: Something bad, wrong, not pleasing for sure. ¿Reprobaste tu clase? Que poca madre. — You failed your class? That sucks.

Desmadre: A mess, or a fucked-up situation, is a desmadre.

Partir la madre: This means kick your ass, as in te voy a partir la madre. A simple verb for this is madrear. And once you get your ass kicked, you will be covered with madrazos, or bruises, also known as putazos.

For example: Voy a madrear todos estos pinches blogueros que copian el contenido de mis artículos.

Hasta la madre: To be sick of something. Ya yo estoy hasta la madre, de que me pongan sombrero (The first line from “Frijolero” by Molotov, a great song full of Mexican slang).

Mamar

Etymologically speaking, mamar is related to mamá (mom). But there’s no good translation for mamar to English, except possibly suckle or breastfeed.

As you can imagine, this is fertile ground for slang. Mamar the verb, therefore, means give a blowjob, and the noun blowjob is a mamada. But mamadas can also mean bullshit, AKA pendejadas (from pendejo, asshole), chingadazos, and many more, including the dinner-table-acceptable tonterías.

If a guy is mamado (an adjective this time), it means he is muscular — implying he breastfed a lot and got big.

Remember fresa above? Another word for picky, stuck-up people is mamón, or mamona for women.

Finally, as mentioned above, the extremely common no manches (Come on! No way!) is actually a euphemism for no mames, literally don’t suck me off. Remember to conjugate your verbs — if you’re talking to a group of guys (don’t use it with women), say no mamen.

Cabrón

When I travel in Central America, in places like Guatemala or Honduras, and I tell people that I live in Mexico, they often say ¡Ah, cabrón! That’s how Mexican this word is, that other Latinos think of it right away when they think about Mexicans.

It comes from cabra, goat, but if used as an insult it translates best to bastard, though not in the sense of someone with unmarried parents. But it can also be said to a friend — a male friend, of course. Like bastard, cabrón isn’t the right thing to say to your boss or girlfriend’s father.

Cabrón can be used in other ways, especially for something difficult — Está carbon. If you say that about a person, it means he’s tough.

If you’re angry, you’re encabronado/a. It can be used like a verb: Me encabrona (or me encabrita) este wey this guy pisses me off.

Está cabrón has a substitute for use in mixed company: está cañon.

Chingar

Much like English’s beloved f-word, chingar has a wide range of uses, from describing something positively: está chingón (it’s fucking awesome), to negatively: está de la chingada (it’s fucked up). The euphemism for this is de la fregada.

If there’s a lot of something, traffic for example, you can say hay un chingo de…, for example hay un chingo de tráfico. The non-vulgar way to say this is un montón de… or un buen de…

In general, you can utilize chingar to express the foulest, rudest, and most aggressive sentiments, such as chinga tu madre (fuck your mother, or simply fuck you) or vete a la chingada (go fuck yourself).

This is a truly Mexican word, and to learn the origins and deep thoughts behind it read The Labyrinth of Solitude by Octavio Paz. (Click the books for info.)

For everyday uses, check out the Chingonario:

Chingar as a verb typically means fuck up rather than have sex. Another good one for fuck up is joder. Estoy jodido — I’m fucked.

For actual sex, expressed vulgarly, use coger, which in other Spanish-speaking countries means grab or hold. Use it like that in Mexico and people will laugh like crazy.

¡Chale!

Here’s a bonus word, similar to chingar: ¡chale! is like shit! or fuck! when something bad happens.

Huevos

We know that huevos are eggs, but all over the Spanish-speaking world, huevos are also balls (testicles).

In Mexican slang, huevos can be used much more widely. When my Spanish was still at a pretty basic level I had a student who said huevos días to me — not a very nice thing to say.

One of my favorites, ¡A huevo! means of course! or hell yeah! — very useful. Another variation is tengo hueva, which means you are feeling lazy, and a lazy person is a huevón. If you say me da hueva, it means something bores you. Que hueva — how boring.

Drinking

Yes, bad words and drinking go hand and hand, and likewise words for alcohol and drinking are a source of so much great slang. Think about English: booze, a brew, getting wasted, hammered, fucked up…

Chela

Chelas are beers, also known as cheves. The word may come from micheladas, a big cup of beer mixed with tomato juice, lime, hot sauce — there’s even a place in Mexico City that puts shrimp and slices of mango in their micheladas. Perhaps an acquired taste.

Caguamas

The best deal for beer drinkers in Mexico are caguamas, big returnable 40-ounce-ish bottles. As a commenter pointed out to me, technically the biggest one is a caguamón, although this is a marketing term I’ve never heard spoken. A caguama is a type of sea turtle, by the way.

Another useful container for beer is a latón (big can), a tall boy in English.

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Pomo

A pomo is a bottle of liquor. I’ve even heard the big one — what we call a half gallon in the U.S. — called an elephant foot: pata de elefante. I like that.

Pisto

This is the vulgar way to say booze, and the verb pistear is the vulgar way to say drink (the verb). You can also say chupar, suck, as in vamos a chuparlet’s drink/get drunk.

Mala copa

A mala copa is a bad drunk, you know — one who loses control, fights and cries. No seas una mala copa.

Crudo

Literally raw, crudo means hungover, as in estoy crudo or tengo cruda (I have a hangover).

Cantina, antro

A cantina is a bar and an antro is a nightclub. A rodeo is a kind of nightclub that specializes in banda music — the cowboy hat-wearing groups with loud drums and big horn sections.

Pedo

I could have put pedo under Bad Words, as it’s versatile, common and oh-so vulgar. Literally a pedo is a fart, but most often it means drunk.

Estoy pedo — I’m drunk.

Therefore un pedote is a boozer, a big drinker, although it could also mean a big fart.

The noun peda is a drinking party or binge, also known as a borrachera or a chupe. The party itself, fiesta, could be called a pachanga or parranda.

Pedo also means problem, as in ni pedo or no hay pedo, the vulgar substitute for no hay bronca, no problem¿Cual es tu pinche pedo?What’s your fucking problem? A pedero is a person who causes problems.

Finally, you can use ¿Que pedo? instead of ¿Que onda? to say What the fuck is up? (in a friendly way), or with an angry tone of voice, What the fuck? The euphemism for these is pex, as in ¿Que pex? or ni pex.

Miscellaneous Useful Mexican Slang

This Mexican Slang Master List is getting a to be a little long, so long that I think I might have to write a sequel with words for crime and punishment, sports, drugs, food, and especially sex. But for now, I’ll leave you with a few good ones, necessary ones, which for sure belong on a comprehensive list of the most important slang from Mexico.

Rola

Songs are rolas, an alternative to the regular Spanish word, canción.

La banda

La banda might be the band, but it could also be a group of friends.

Chamba

A job, often a difficult or shitty job. You can say Tengo que regresar a mi chamba or ask ¿Que chamba tienes? The verb, chambear, means work, and without pride or enthusiasm.

Tengo que chambear mañana.

Changarro

It means a small business, a little store or small restaurant. So, does changarro have anything do with chango, the Mexican word for monkey?

no-hay-bronca-kadaffi-store

Chafa

Chafa describes something cheap or low quality. Este coche es chafa.

Varos

Varos (sometimes spelled and always pronounced baros — remember there’s no v sound in Spanish) means money, but not in the general sense like lana (wool, money) or plata (silver, money), but in the numerical sense (pesos), like bucks.

Esta vale cien varos — It’s worth one hundred pesos.

Refresco

A refresco is a soda, like a Coke. But if a policeman asks you for a refresco, he’s asking for a bribe.

Paro

A favor is a paro, as in Hazme un paro — Do me a favor.

Chiste

A chiste is a joke (una broma) and something funny is chistoso. Chiste can also mean the trick, or the way to do something, as in el chiste es hacerlo así — the trick is to do it like this.

Albur

An albur is a vulgar pun. This fascinating aspect of Mexican culture deserves a whole other article. It can also be used as a verb, alburear.

Gacho

This is substitute for feo, ugly, though both words are used in a much wider sense than for physical ugliness. For example: Hueles feo — you smell bad (not ugly).

I originally spelled this incorrectly as gaucho (thanks for the correction), which is an Argentinian cowboy or an excellent Steely Dan album.

Jalada

Jalada means overdone, or ridiculous, as in action movies in which the hero is shot at by 100 foes but not one bullet hits him.

Chorro

Literally spill, it means diarrhea, as in tengo chorro.

Ratero

A ratero, or simply rata (rat) is a thief, criminal — worse than a rat, if you ask me.

Vocho

Remember the cafres driving their carcahas? Well, the carcacha might be a vocho (pronounced and sometimes spelled bocho), the nickname for Volkswagen Beetles, which are everywhere in Mexico.

Chamarra

In Mexico, don’t call your jacket a chaqueta, because that’s the word for jerking off. Use chamarra instead.

Chanclas

These are sandals, AKA huaraches, an old indigenous word that is also a kind of food (delicious). If you walk around in public with chanclas, you might be called chancludo.

no-hay-bronca-huarache

D.F.

Meaning Federal District, and pronounced “deh-EFF-ei,” this is how most people refer to Mexico City. It may be called simply México, but almost never La Ciudad de México, except on documents or plane tickets, although the government is currently trying to change this. By the way, people from D.F. are chilangos.

Zócalo

An essential word for travel, the zócalo is the main plaza or the central square of a city, otherwise known as the parque central.

Colonia

This means neighborhood, not the English cognate colony. Residents may be called vecinos (which usually means neighbor) or colonos.

Camión

A camión is a bus, whereas in other parts of Latin America it’s a truck. I remember telling people in Guatemala that I arrived by camión, and they looked at me crazy until I figured it out and explained myself. The official word for a bus in Mexico is autobús, not plain bus, unlike Spain and elsewhere.

Tope

We’ll end this list with a word that’s not just slang, but a big part of any Mexican experience, especially if you drive. Speedbumps are everywhere, often unmarked and totally hidden in the dark night. Aguas when you drive over them, because hitting them hard makes everyone in the backseat bounce up and slam their heads into the roof of the car, or worse, gives you a flat tire.

Speedbumps are topes, and only in Mexico. In other parts of Latin America and some parts of Mexico they are tumolos, reductores — which other words?

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Part 2 is coming soon and will include Mexican slang for food, sports, sex, drugs — all that fun stuff. Thanks for reading, and I look forward to your comments, corrections and complaints.

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